Music to My Ears
June 24, 2005
I'm pretty sure just about every ballplayer has pre-game rituals that
have more to do with superstition than any real physical
preparation. I know a lot of them are very particular about the
music they play before the game and what music is played for
them. For example, Chipper Jones always has Ozzy
Osbourne's "Crazy Train" play before each home at bat. Ryan
Church started playing it before his at bats near the end of
April. In April (pre- Crazy Train) he hit .190. Since
the beginning of May he's hit .371. Coincidence?
They've been playing Crazy Train for Chipper ever since they started
playing theme music in Atlanta. Some players are very loyal to
their theme music. Jay Gibbons (Money for Nothing - Dire Straits)
and BJ Surhoff (Sultans of Swing - Dire Straits, ironically enough) are
two Oriole players who have had the same music ever since they arrived
in Baltimore. Even after Surhoff was traded to Atlanta then came
back to
Baltimore, he kept the same music. Clearly, Surhoff is not making
enough money to afford some new CDs. And with the collapse of
Napster, where's a fourth outfielder/part-time DH to go to get his
music?
Other guys change sporadically. John Patterson began the season
always playing Coldplay's "Clocks" before each start. He switched
to a different song a little more than a month ago. "Clocks" ERA
- 2.45. Post-"Clocks" ERA - 3.85. Dear John - Coldplay has
a new album out.... if you're tired of "Clocks", there are other tracks
to play now. For the sake of your career and my fantasy teams, go
to a Amazon.com or Tower Records now!
When the Orioles used to play at Memorial Stadium and for the first few
years they played at Camden Yards they almost always used to play
"Magic To Do", the intro song from the musical, "Pippin". They
haven't played it very much the past few years. Maybe they just
don't like Ben Vereen. Who knows. But until this year,
there hasn't been much "magic to do" in Camden Yards since 1997.
Now that the Red Sox have caught them in the standings, it will be
interesting to see if they suddenly find that missing CD.
The last time I went to Wrigley Field they didn't have any piped-in
music at all; only an organist. I don't know if that is still the
case, but if it is - are Cub players at a competitive disadvantage
because they don't get theme music? Or if they do get any theme
music, can they only get tunes that can be played on an
organ? It won't be opposing pitchers or oppressive media coverage
that will finally undo Derrek Lee's bid for the triple crown - it will
be hearing some ditty from the 1930s three hundred more
times that finally unnerves him. Or maybe I'm not reading him
right... maybe the organ soothes him enough to reach a zen state of
consciousness where he is one with the bat and ball. The
meandering carnivalesque strains of "Hello, Ma Baby" help him channel
Heinie Zimmerman - the only Cub to win the triple crown back in
1912. Or maybe it drives him so crazy that he focuses his
hatred of those infernal pipes through his shoulders, forearms and
wrists, loosing all his frustrations and anger out and punishing the
ball for the organ's sins with each swing. Who knows.
Moreover, how hard is it to imagine Chipper Jones as a Cub, striding to
the plate as "Crazy
Train" is attempted on the Wurlitzer. Some players specify cities
that
they refuse to be traded to either because of a racial perception or
bad blood with the front office or a losing tradition... I wonder if
some players have it in their contracts that they can't be traded to
the Cubs unless they are allowed to use their IPod in the batter's
box.
Still, one day I'd love to see some player come to the plate with
something altogether unexpected playing, like the "Beer
Barrel Polka". Even something dramatic like Bach's Toccata and
Fugue in D Minor would be pretty cool. A few years ago back when
Ben Davis was
still with the Padres a couple of his teammates convinced the guys who
played the music at the Murph to
play "Dancing Queen" by Abba as a practical
joke when he came to the plate.
Davis was visibly annoyed during the at bat, but I think he ended up
hitting a double anyway. Yes, the song elicits connotations of
homosexuality in that context. But geez, for a guy who has a
career average of .237 and slugging percentage of .366, he could use a
little more
annoyance.
Maybe the quality of the speaker system and music selection can have a
positive effect on the performance by the home team. Could it be
that the Nats are in first place because they get better theme music in
DC than they did in Montreal. Seriously, how can you get fired up
enough to face Randy Johnson to the music of Edith Piaf or Celine
Dion? I've seen each of the last six Cirque de Soleil tours and I
still can't hit a curveball. Maybe this should be considered when
calculating ballpark effects - runs scored by home and away teams,
distance to the wall and the likelihood that they will play Toby Keith
while you are batting. Who knows.