Why Aliens Keep Their Distance

Just like everyone else, I get a lot of junk mail.  But today I got something important.  It stated "Do Not Destroy - delivery, delay or obstruction punishable under U.S. Code, See Title 18, Section 1708, U.S. Code".  Also on the envelope was a picture of the World Trade Center in New York.  So what was so important that it openly invoked protection under US Federal law?  Well, actually, all mail is protected under that section.   However, this was an offer to buy collector's coins.

Not just any collectors coins, though.  These Silver Eagle dollar coins were buried in a vault beneath the World Trade Center rubble after the September 11 terrorist attack.  These one dollar coins were then bought by a third party company in Texas and are now being sold as a "collector's" item for $50 apiece.  Shipping and Handling is only $20 more.  The offer goes on to state that 12% of the proceeds will be donated to a World Trade Center Memorial Fund.  Twelve percent.  A one dollar coin being sold for fifty bucks, of which six dollars is going - not to the people who have suffered, including thousands of survivors - but to a memorial to those who perished.  This company is making $43 profit per coin on other people's most devastating sorrows.

If there has been a more shameful display of greed in recent human history, I am not aware of it.  Somewhere in the neighbohood of 5,000 people died in this horrible episode in both American and human history, and all these people are thinking about is how to make a quick buck without looking completely despicable.  I guess it's possible someone could exceed this outrageous effort to profit from the ruthless slaughter of innocent people - perhaps by selling the gold and silver fillings that were taken from the teeth of the prisoners at Auschwitz, Buchenwald and the other Nazi concentration camps - but it would take a considerable effort to sink so low.

So why did I say that I got something important?  It's important because it shows the limits of just how low someone will go to make a buck.  It shows just how shamefully depraved a human being can be.  I normally wouldn't editorialize on issues outside of baseball, but the events of September 11 changed the way we view our world.  I refuse to increase the circulation of this loathesome company by mentioning their name.  I would ask that if you happen to recieve their offer in the mail, that you call them and in the strongest of terms, express your disapproval at this bald-faced grab for money in the face of a true human tragedy.  Theirs is a disgraceful blot on all of us.